I’m only about 3 hours into knowing these results myself so forgive me if this comes off as a jumbled, rambling mess of an update.
We received some great news and some hard news today. I’m going to start with the hard news because I’m choosing to end and concentrate on the positive news.
The hard news is that the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes. The biopsy came back showing positive traces of carcenoma. So what does this mean? It does not change the date of surgery (which is March 24). It does not change what I am having done in surgery (I will still have a unilateral masectotmy, reconstruction, and lymph nodes removed all at the same time). What this does change is it is no longer a possibility for me to have after-surgery treatment it is a guaranteed. After-surgery treatment will be chemo. We will not know how much or for how long until after the pathology report comes back on the tumor after the surgery. I will start that treatment a couple weeks after surgery.
It was disappointing news for sure. I cried for the first time since my diagnosis day. I had really hoped that all I would have to do after surgery was the estrogen-blocker pill, but that will not be the case.
So the great news we received literally minutes before we received the hard news was that I was negative for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. This is huge because it means I don’t have to have additional surgeries. It means my boys do not need to fear carrying this gene and passing it to their daughters. It means that my family is spared from having to get tested, especially my sister.
I do not want the hard news to overshadow the amazing news. The hard news is short-term, will be yucky for a little while, will be a season – not a lifetime. The amazing news is forever and ever peace-giving and comforting. I want to be sensitive to the fact that one of my dear friends is BRCA2 positive, but even her husband encouraged Mark with just how good our good news is and not to miss that!
A couple songs have come on the radio consistently when I have been in my car after all of these doctor appointments. One is a song by Casting Crowns titled ‘Just Be Held’. The chorus says, “Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place”. This isn’t something happening to me. This isn’t things flying out of control around me. This is my life falling into place exactly how the author of my life sees fit. Who am I to argue?
Another song is ‘Good Good Father’ sung (but not written by the way) by Chris Tomlin. The chorus repeats the phrases, “You’re a good, good Father. It’s who you are. I’m loved by you. It’s who I am. You are perfect in all of your ways.” This is all a part of his perfect plan for me. Again, who am I to claim it is imperfect?
The last song I heard for the first time today. It’s by Lauren Daigle and it’s called ‘Trust In You’. I was so encouraged by the song. I’m going to end with the link to the video that has the song with the lyrics.
Love you all and so appreciate your continued prayers.