I wanted to send out an update to everyone. I love getting your cards in the mail (isn’t snail-mail the best?!?), sweet gifts, emails, & text messages. It has been such a blessing to have the dinners brought to us these last weeks. Then Friday I had my house cleaned and groceries delivered without lifting a finger or paying a penny. It’s just so amazing – I can’t explain the love and support we are surrounded with and how each of you are displaying Christ to us. I’ve mentioned CBS in some of my previous posts and how we are studying Matthew. Matthew 25 speaks of caring for others is caring for Jesus. Verse 45 is Jesus’ response when they asked, “When did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you? Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.” Well sweet friends and family of mine you are serving our Lord by caring for me and my family. And we thank you!
My sister and brother-in-law are in town currently. Katie was my chauffeur around town today. We were able to take the boys to school, get some bulk shopping done and go to the plastic surgeon to get one of my drains out (Yipee!) and have my first saline injection in my spacer. I was anticipating both being worse than they were. My next appointment is next Wednesday, 4/20 at 2:15 to get my last drain out and more saline. Praying that I will be able to start driving and gradually lift Garrett to have a ‘back-to-normal’ week before my first chemo treatment. (And just to give you a little insight into my relationship with my sister: the picture she captured pretty much says it all – this was not staged and this was while we were in the waiting room).
So I was able to get my first chemo treatment moved up to Wednesday, April 27. They should be every three weeks which tentatively the schedule would be: 4/27, 5/18, 6/8, & 6/29. I have not heard results from the Onco test yet. That should be this Thursday.
I get asked the question, “How are you doing?” a lot. And I am fine. And people say I’m being strong. But it’s not really me. It’s your prayers and God sustaining me. Upholding me. Protecting me from discouraging thoughts. But I don’t want to give the impression that I’m not human either. I’m still a girl with a flood of emotions that I have to process through. I have a whole other journal in a word document I’ve been keeping. And there are many entries that I would never post here because they are my personal conversations with God. I ask why?. I tell him I wish he would’ve chosen someone else. I cried Friday night to Mark, “I don’t want to shave my head and well I just don’t want to do any of this.” But that doesn’t mean I still don’t have the same outlook I’ve expressed in earlier updates. Back to studying Matthew even our sweet savior prayed (while sweating out blood with his face to the ground) in verse 39 of chapter 26, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup <of suffering> be taken from me. Yet not as I will <want, desire>, but as you will.” I love this was included in the Word of God. How precious and encouraging an example this has been to me these last two months. Even my savior had a moment of pleading and praying that he didn’t want to go through with drinking his cup of suffering, BUT I will do as you will. So I know He cares for me and I want to be in his will. Remember my cancer mantra, “Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you; He will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail).” Psalm 55:22 (AMP version). Jesus was doing just that – casting his burden on the Lord. Allowing God the Father to sustain God the Son. Knowing full well that God would not let him fall or fail. What beauty it is to identify with Jesus.
Have a wonderful week!
P.S. I’ve been asked how people can comment on my posts. If you are on the website reading this there is a comment button at the bottom. If you are reading this in your email (which is why we chose this site because it’s easy to read my updates in your email) you can just reply directly to the email and it comes directly to me.