Tomorrow…

…Tomorrow.  I love ya. Tomorrow.  You’re only a day away.

Man, I loved that movie as a child.  I’m a sucker for all things Broadway, but Annie was my favorite movie as a child.  I would watch it, rewind it (gotta love VCR days), and watch it again.

Tomorrow, for us, is a day we have all been anticipating.  My sweet friend, Jenny Morgan, is bringing Garrett home.  Hamilton is asking if they can have some ‘just brother’ time tomorrow afternoon.  I’m thankful that (most of the time) my boys get along and that both he and Luke are legitimately excited to see Garrett and have

missed him tremendously.

Tomorrow, for me, begins the first day of our new normal.  I go to Dr. Mackay (my plastic surgeon) for my 3-week post-op.  He should release me for PT and to lift Garrett.  I go straight from his office to the airport.  Our reunion will put a bow on the end of my cancer recovery for me.  No more ‘not able’, ‘can’t’, ‘wish I could’.  No more watching someone else care for my child, having to refuse him.  It all goes back to as it should be – a mamma being a mamma.

I did get a phone call today that once you hear, “Ashley, it’s Dr. Zelnak”, stops you cold and puts a lump in your throat.  Dr. Zelnak is my oncologist.  She said my hormone levels are higher than she would like.  She wants my estrogen to be below 30 and I’m at 110.  She is changing my daily pill to something stronger, but basically it means that my ovaries are not fully suppressed.  I have a call into my OB/GYN, Dr. Howard, to inquire about getting my ovaries out permanently.  Dr. Zelnak is recommending it.  She insists it is an easy, out-patient, surgery with little recovery, but I’m waiting to hear from Dr. Howard.

On the eve of everything I was just talk

ing about, to hear the potential of another surgery and the possibility of more recovery that could remove me from my normal…well, I’m not going to think about it until I hear the facts.

In other news, Mark and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary yesterday.  We are trying something new this year with the boys: Awana.  They had their meeting last night (it’s $15 per child for the ENTIRE year – free weekly date nite or just sit in the car for 90 minutes silent or reading…ummm…yep, okay! Sold!  (Not to mention what they are learning while there is amazing!)).  Mark and I went to dinner to a fun local restaurant.  The last 6 months I got through still (somewhat) sain because of the man I’m married to.  There’s no one like Mark Jansen – he’s just one of the best you’ll ever meet.  He’s had to endure a lot – being the spouse of a cancer patient is no easy task.  Saying “yes” to that man, well – I’ve never regretted it.  He’s my best no-regrets decision I’ve ever made.

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Thank you for your continued prayers.  I will let you know once I hear more.

Love,

AJ

14 Replies to “Tomorrow…”

  1. Just love reading this…brings tears to my eyes to think about the reunion with sweet Garrett tomorrow. Don’t worry about another possible surgery…it will be a piece of cake compared to what you have already gone through. Also, happy belated anniversary!! You two are great individually and even better as a couple!

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  2. That’s great news having your family all under one roof. I hope the boys enjoy Awana. Ours begins in September. Wish they were with us…sweet boys!

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  3. As a fellow Mom of only boys, I have a lot of days when I’m upset/mad/disappointed at God for not allowing me to have the opportunity for a daughter as well. Silly huh? It’s something that I think about often even though I am SO thankful and blessed for my two healthy boys. Why am I greedy to want more?! Anyway, I say all of that because the “just brother” time made me tear up. The bond between brothers is awesome and fun to watch. Your post today made me stop and thank God again for all the blessings in life, even though they don’t line up to what I thought I would have. Ugh! Being an imperfect human is hard!!

    So excited for you and the rest of the family tomorrow. I know that’ll be a much more exciting trip to the airport vs. the last one! Praying for peace and good answers from Dr. Howard.

    Becca

    >

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  4. Ashley, so thankful that you are moving toward “normal” again. It is shocking how much we miss the mundane in our lives when it is taken away. I know you will delight in being “mama” to your boys again. Praying for you as you walk in trust in the days ahead. God is faithful and that is our hope.

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  5. Excited for this new season!!!! You have shined so bright through it all- your authenticity has allowed so many to walk along side you physically & in prayer. Xoxo

    Kimberly

    Sent from my iPhone

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  6. Yay we just signed up for Awanas too! Enjoy your sweet boys??

    Sent from Josie’s iPhone, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes!

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  7. Yes! Your Mark is a one of a kind, amazing man! The way he loves, cares and leads you and your family is just so refreshing in this day and age of weak men. I am so glad God gave you him!

    I will be praying for wisdom and minimal surgery and recovery if needed. I am so glad for your new normal and getting to get back to being a mama and wife full time.

    Love you lots!

    Also, AWANA is a fantastic program!!

    Becca >

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  8. Wow, a lot of wonderful things to celebrate! Thank you so much for taking the time to engage with me this week even while you have all of this going on!

    Sent from my iPhone

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  9. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You have been through a lot this past year, but your attitude of gratefulness is beautiful. I’m sure you are so excited to have all of your boys under one roof. Wishing you many “normal” days ahead.

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  10. Thanks for the new posting! I go to see Garrett tonight, have Dickey’s with him and your parents. Wally and Judy had dinner with them last night. Judy thought Garrett was the CUTEST!!! Be sure and let me know about what your oncologist says. Awana sounds like a great idea and alone time for you and Mark! SUPER! Do you know your dates for coming to Texas for Thanksgiving yet? When are you going on your trip? LOVE, MJ

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  11. Hi Ashley!
    Thankyou for sharing and being so open-hearted:) I am praying for you everyday… I would love to get together… I know you are busy with the kids as well as everything else… Call me… 🙂 Awana is a great program…!! You and your husband are preshhhhhh:)

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  12. …..praying for you, precious doll. I love reading your heart and soul on the emails where you take the time to express yourself and your struggles…. your God and His promises….your thankfulness for all that is good…… He is BEAUTIFUL on you Ashley…..BEAUTIFUL….just BEAUTIFUL. OOXX,CarlaSent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE smartphone

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  13. You are in our prayers…. You are with your family, and that is sure to make your heart and mind feel great peace.

    Sent from my iPad

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  14. Ashley, it was so nice to meet you and your sweet boys today. Talking with you was an honor for me. I needed that, thank you. Probably for a lot of reasons! What a blessing! I just put Hazel down and it’s Novies quiet time, so I’m going to read your blog!! Safe travels tomorrow, what a beautiful trip awaits. Maybe we can meet up at the varsity again sometime?! 🙂

    Yours,
    Pam

    PS Annie was my all time favorite growing up too, my mom and I still sing tomorrow to each other… My girls are now obsessed too;)

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