So it’s started. The ‘last year on this day’ events.
February 2 – Annual OB appointment where during my exam he found the lump and ordered a mammogram & sonogram. I heard “I’m sure it’s nothing – probably just a cyst.”
February 4 – Mammogram and Sonogram on lump. The doctor said it look very inconclusive and that she was ordering a biopsy.
February 5-7 – Mark and I went to a marriage retreat at Winshape Retreat Center. It was a sweet time to be together before what would transpire the following week.
February 8 – Biopsy on lump.
February 10 – Received phone call from my OB that biopsy did come back as carcinoma. Immediately called Breast Care Specialists and was able to get in at 7:30 Friday morning.
February 12 – Appointment with my surgeon at Breast Care Specialist – left with surgery plan and surgery date of March 24. Later that day our house went under contract.
And then the craziness really began. I think back about how I was feeling. The unsureness (is that a word?) of everything. I had 6 different appointments and/or procedures over the next 2 weeks: MRI, another biopsy, PET scan, multiple consult appointments, & genetic testing. This didn’t include the house inspections and things that had to be done with the move. As well as our dog was also diagnosed with cancer and she had surgery. All within those 2 weeks.
And with each appointment came a wait. The whole thing was a hurry up and wait scenario. Hurry up and get a MRI done so we can see if it has spread. Wait 3 days to get the results. It looks like it is in the lymph nodes. Hurry up and get a PET scan. Wait 3 days to get the results. Hurry up and get genetic testing. Wait 3 weeks to get the results. Hurry up and pack boxes. Wait a month for closing on house. Etc. etc. All along you are just walking in a daze becoming an expert in a subject you once knew nothing about learning as you go. Honestly, not really grasping the severity of the situation. Throw on top of all of this normal life of raising three boys and the endless phone calls of talking to doctors and nurses and the insurance company and keeping my friends and family informed after each appointment. My phone would be low on battery constantly.
A mentor of Mark’s told him, “You will find yourself living out Scripture that you only previously intellectually understood.” During this time that I just described to you above Mark and I felt supported by our friends and family, but we also felt supported by the strong foundation that we stood upon.
Jesus spoke as recorded in Luke chapter 6 verses 46-49:
“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation (Matthew 7:26 says “built his house on sand”). The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”
Mark and I were smack dab in the middle of a flood, but our foundation was on THE rock. We refused to be shaken, could not be shaken, because our house was well built. We had dug down deep (and had to continue to dig deep throughout 2016) putting into practice his words, not just hearing them. It was hard. It is hard. But man is it better than complete destruction.
I would think about the words to this familiar hymn a lot:
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus Christ, my righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
We had hope. Still have hope. No matter what the outcome. Hope comes from The Rock!
Are you digging deep to build a strong foundation? Where are you standing on sinking/shifting sand that you need to start building your trust and hope on Him, the solid rock?